Angelplague by Kalopsia

Release date: May 19, 2017
Label: Horror Pain Gore Death Productions / Proper Death Records

In school we were taught about Plato’s Forms. If I remember correctly they were non-physical ideals or perfect representations of some physical thing, but only understandable in the mind’s eye…or some such malarkey. Anyway, somewhere in that mind-realm is the Form of proper death metal, the perfect representation of all things deathy and metally. The nice thing about a genre as well defined as death is that such a thing is possible. It’s sort of like a really good bowl of pasta carbonara. Assuming you have the highest quality ingredients (don’t even think about using anything less than fresh pasta and hand-picked pecorino), one hundred years of Italian grandmothers have refined the recipe. All you have to do is not fuck it up.

And that brings me to Kalopsia and their latest release Angelplague. I love this album. The bottom line is that if you like death metal, you will also love this album. As far as I’m concerned it’s the closest thing I’ve heard to the Plato’s Form of death metal in years. It doesn’t have a bad moment on it. And just like sometimes you don’t want some fancy ass chef’s $30 “interpretation” of an Italian classic, with “hints” of this or that, served by some pretentious cock who’s really an actor and only doing this because the gods fucked him out of being born with a trust fund, sometimes you just want straight-up, unrefined, uncut death metal. Not death metal with forays into black metal, or doom metal, or stoner rock, or psych metal, or some pretentious art project bullshit, just good ‘ol peel-the-skin-off-your-face-and-hope-to-die death metal. Welcome to Kalopsia.

If this album had come out 20 years ago when death metal was in its infancy it would have changed everything. It would have become an instant standard. So, fine, the album is coming out this year, and some might say that it doesn’t break a lot of new ground. But so what? If you like Polish death guys like Vader or Decapitated, you’ll love this album. If you like the early thrashers and deathers like Sepultura, Morbid Angel or Slayer, you’ll love this album. If you like Dethklock, you’ll love this album. I know, I know – comparing this to a satirical cartoon band may not entirely seem like a complement. But anyone who’s deconstructed Dethklock knows they are as much the real deal as any real band, even if they have a sense of humor about what they do. And that’s the key ingredient here. As much as you’ll be mesmerized by Kalopsia’s tornados of lightning-fast guitar riffs and hurricanes of blast beats, there is a not so subtle underlying fun factor to the record. You get the sense that just because these guys are able to make music on technical par with the best bands out there, doesn’t mean they don’t have a good time doing it.

My favorite tracks are ‘Christened Upon the Slab’, which you can listen to now on Bandcamp, and ‘Scorched Earth and Blackened Skies’, which you’ll hear when the album is officially released on May 19th.

Make sure you mark your calendar for this release. You’re not going to want to miss it. It is relentless in pace, Germanic in precision, and drenched in so much gore and destruction that your mom and her priest will have an immediate erection hearing it.

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